Bad Boy
by Envious Lacerations
Summary: Tobi is acting like a twitter-pated school girl and Kisame gets tired of him asking if he is a good boy. KisameXTobi and a little KakuzuXHidan. Yaoi, Lemon.


**The black hole of perverted doom is very inspiring!...What'd I just say? Oh...er..uh...Yeah, anyways...ahem...So here it is and enjoy (Hopefully) And don't be shy about friendly criticism. No hard core flames. **

**Title: Bad Boy**

**Pairing: Kisame X Tobi and a little Kakuzu X Hidan**

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tobi or Kisame (Though I wish I did) or the Akatsuki.**

**Summary: Tobi is acting like a twitter-pated school girl and Kisame is tired of the hyper active ninja asking if he is a good boy.**

**Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Slight cussing, and the horror of Itachi painting his nails.**

* * *

It was always like this. Why was it always like this? Kisame was getting fed up with Tobi's overly cheery, happy-go-lucky attitude. It didn't help that he was attracted to Tobi either.

"...Yes, Tobi is a good boy! Right Kisame -sempai? Right?" Tobi was dancing excitedly around him like a twitter-pated school girl.

Kisame gritted his teeth in annoyance as he thought about how many times he had tried to escape the excitable Tobi.

With no luck. Tobi had followed him. Every time he thought he had finally rid himself of the loud, walking irritation, he popped up again like a Kisame tracking Jack (Tobi) in the box!

Kisame came down out of La-La land when Tobi waved a hand in front of his face, saying loudly "Sempai! Sempai? Are you listening? Tobi was asking if Tobi is a good boy?"

Kisame growled, glaring at him.

Tobi got a hurt look in his one onyx eye." D-does this mean Tobi is...a bad boy?"

His voice wobbled and his eye got teary.

Kisame was so pissed at the moment that he spoke without thinking…..as usual.

"Yes! Tobi is a very bad boy!"

Tobi flinched and backed a few steps away, then turned and fled, crying loudly.

He passed Deidara in his flight, almost knocking him over.

Deidara watched until Tobi rounded the corner then turned to Kisame, who had an almost comical look of surprise on his face, and demanded "Hey Shark, what did you do to my partner, un!"

Kisame blinked. "Nothing, I just told him he was a bad boy….." He did feel guilty for making Tobi cry though, but he wouldn't't admit that to Deidara.

"Kisame you idiot, un!" Deidara shouted, stalking over and pulling Kisame down to his height so the Blonde could whisper furiously in his ear. "You NEVER tell Tobi that he is a bad boy, un!" Deidara shuddered. "Last time someone told him he was a bad boy he blubbered for hours and ransacked the fridge, freezer and pantry, leaving us with no edible food until Leader-san sent Sasori out to get more until our monthly shipment came! Un!"

"This had to have been when Weasel boy and I were on a mission?" When Deidara nodded Kisame sighed.

"Now go after him and apologize before we have to starve again, un!" Deidara shoved Kisame, or tried to, in the direction that Tobi had run off in……towards the kitchen.

Kisame reluctantly went after the boy, wiping the drool from Deidaras hands mouths off his cloak.

As he approached the kitchen he heard a shout and the crashing of broken dishes.

Kisame hurried into the kitchen expecting to see a rampaging Tobi, but instead found Kakuzu and Hidan on the floor amidst said dishes trying to kill each other. Which was nearly impossible.

"Hey, have you guys seen Tobi? I have to-" Kisame stopped when he realized they were too absorbed in trying to kill each other to notice him.

Kakuzu was shouting "...Teach you to touch my money, you idiotic priest!" His fist connected with Hidan's face as his tentacles tried to strangle him.

Hidan laughed Madly. "Fuck you! I...put the fucking...money...back where I...found it...you..FUCKER!" He managed to roll them so Kakuzu was Uke...(A/N: Did I say Uke? oops...not.XD) And tore the tentacles off his throat.

Hidan then leaned down and bit Kakuzu's neck, Hard, drawing blood.

Kakuzu froze for a second, eyes wide, as Hidan bit him, but recovered quickly and grabbed Hidan's hair, yanking his head up.The twisted priest's mouth dripping his blood.

Kakuzu then preceded to smash his mouth into Hidan's, kissing him roughly, tasting his own blood.

At this point Kisame thought it best to leave, lest his mind be scarred. _'I feel like a peeping tom' _thought the blue skinned man, embarrassed.

He jumped and rushed out, his cheeks tinged purple, as he heard Hidan start moaning.

He picked up his pace when he heard Kakuzu join the music.

_'Damn, can't they get a room!' _He thought , hurrying to the next place he guessed Tobi might be. The baths.

He stopped outside the door to the Baths and shed his cloak. The steamy atmosphere of the baths always made it stick to him.

He went in and was immediately enveloped in the steam, which was comfortable for him since he had an affinity for water.

"Tobi? Are you in here?" Kisame squinted, trying to see through the thick haze.

He heard a splash and a giggle to his left and cautiously went towards it.

As he got closer he could see...Red hair!

Kisame had found the puppet master...in the bath...playing like a child...with his creepy puppets.

Sasori looked up at him as he approached.

"What do you want?" He asked rudely.

"Have you seen Tobi?" Kisame asked, eyeing the puppets,that seemed to be looking back at him.

"Heh, that masked weirdo? _'Look who's talking'_ thought Kisame, scowling. "No, not since this morning."

Kisame sighed irritably. "If you see him, tell him he is a good boy."

Sasori cocked his head. "Why?"

"Just do it!" He did not feel like explaining himself to the freaky Red head.

Sasori nodded. "Fine, now go away. I'm busy." He turned and started playing with his puppets again, dismissing Kisame.

_'That is one cree-py guy' _Kisame shuddered. He grabbed his cloak from where he had left it, outside the baths,and moved on.

Next he would try the Garden, since he knew Tobi sometimes went there to keep Zetsu company.

For some reason the plant man never tried to eat Tobi. He must have a soft spot for the bouncy ninja. Kisame was glad that Zetsu didn't try to eat him, but the thought of Zetsu liking Tobi caused Kisame to feel a pang of jealousy.

He pushed the jealousy aside and entered the Plant mans domain. Kisame walked a little ways into the fair sized garden and soon he could hear a muffled grating sound under his feet. He took a step back. " Oi, Zetsu!"

The...Man...came slowly out of the ground in front of him, looking like a giant plant, dirt falling off him as he rose up.The venus fly trap on his head opened up to reveal the black and white Zetsu. He brushed himself off, a cloud of dirt particles enveloping Kisame, making him sneeze.

"Bless you.You called?" Asked the white side politely.

**"Of course he did!" **The black side snapped.

"Uh...Yeah. Has Tobi been here today?" Kisame felt like he was going to sneeze again.

"No. We have not seen him in a while."

**"The little brat said he would come see us too!"**

"Well, if he comes to s-see...Achoo!...Sorry...if he comes to see you, please let him know I need to talk to him."

"We will." **"We won't."** Answered the two sides of Zetsu Simultaneously.

"...Thanks." Kisame hoped the white side would win and relay the message.

"Kisame-san?"The white side called, as Kisame turned to leave.

He turned to face Zetsu again. "Yeah?"

"Would you come visit us again?"

**"Or not."** The black side seemed to be a little uncomfortable.**"It's not like we like you or anything..."**

Kisame blinked."O-okay. I'll bring Tobi next time."

"We will await you're next visit." The white side seemed pleased.

**"IF you keep your word, then make sure lollipop ninja brings the fertilizer that he promised!" **The black side sounded a bit gruff.

"Right. See ya." Zetsu rotated himself back into the hole he had come out of and Kisame turned to leave again, thinking 'Why would Zetsu invite ME back of all people?'

Kisame huffed. He should ask Itachi if he had seen Tobi. He usually knew where everyone was. Kisame nodded and headed to his partners room.

Kisame snorted._'If I can get the stuck up Uchiha to grace me with his intelligence.'_

Turning down the next hallway, Kisame saw one very strange sight. Itachi was standing outside his room, waving his arms up and down, like a big, black, bird in slow motion. He stopped for a second to bring his hands up to his face and blow on his fingernails.

"Itachi...what the heck are you doing?" Kisame had never seen the Uchiha do anything that looked as stupid as this did.

Itachi jumped when he heard Kisame's voice, whirling to face him, his onyx eyes going to Sharringan.

'He didn't notice me approach!' Kisame was starting to wonder if this was really Itachi.

"K-Kisame...I..was.." Itachi looked away. "I was painting my fingernails."The Uchiha prodigy's cheeks were a bit pink as he stuck his hands out to Kisame, palm down, and wiggled his fingers, showing off the vivid purple color of his fingernails.

Kisame wanted to laugh, but knew better. If he laughed Itachi would probably kill him. "Itachi...is-isn't the standard color...Black?"

He glared at Kisame. "Yeah, but I thought purple looked better on me."

Kisame sweat dropped. "Okay...Anyways, I came to ask you if you knew where Tobi is?"

"No...I was concentrating on my nails." He blew on his nails. "He is probably hiding from Deidara."

"Actually, he is hiding from me..."Kisame sighed. "Well, thanks anyway. I gotta go find him."

Itachi nodded and resumed the slow, flapping motion of his arms as Kisame left, grinning and wishing he had a camera.

* * *

Kisame spent the rest of the day looking everywhere he could think of in the Akatsuki base for the, Now, elusive Tobi. But had no luck at all. He had asked Peine, Konan and even re-asked Kakuzu and Hidan, though he was decidedly purple faced when he did. None of them had seen Tobi.

Kisame let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed his eyes. He was now feeling quite guilty about making Tobi cry.

As much as he hated to quit, he would have to deal with this in the morning...or later in the morning. It was one AM already. So he headed off to his room, trying to think of what to say to Tobi when he Finally found him.

As he neared his room, Kisame saw someone standing in front of his door, facing away from him.

The man wore a black, sleeveless shirt, and black Ninja pants. 'Who the hell is standing outside my room!' Kisame thought furiously.

"Oi! What are you-"Kisame's silvery eyes widened as the man turned around. He was gorgeous.

His one onyx eye was red and puffy from crying and the other was covered by a black eye patch looking contraption. His hair hung into his eye a little and he had the most kissable lips Kisame had ever seen. They were full and pouty and, at the moment, trembling slightly.

Kisame realized he was looking at Tobi without his mask.

""L-Leader-san said that Sempai wanted to talk to Tobi?" His voice was a little raw sounding. He had probably been crying all day. That thought made Kisame cringe a bit, feeling terrible about hurting Tobis feelings.

"Yes I..."Kisame fidgeted a little."Tobi...I-I'm sorry." He reached out a hand, slowly, and placed it on Tobi's shoulder."I overreacted earlier and I really am sorry I said you were a bad boy."

Tobi flinched when Kisame said 'bad boy' and lowered his eye, staring at the floor.

"Tobi...Tobi is sorry for being a...bad boy, Kisame-sempai." Tobi looked as though he would cry again.

Kisame shook him a bit."No, Tobi, don't apologize..."He smiled at him."You're a good boy, Tobi."

Tobi had looked up as Kisame started talking and his eyes were now brimming with tears of happiness.

"Sempai thinks Tobi is a good boy? Really?" When Kisame nodded, Tobi launched his body at Kisame and attached himself to the blue mans middle.

Kisame grunted, surprised, and toppled backwards, taking Tobi down with him.

Tobi ended up straddling Kisame's waist as Kisame lay on the floor, blushing furiously and looking anywhere but at the shark-nins face.

"Uh...Tobi is sorry! Tobi is very sorry! Is Kisame-sempai okay?" When only silence answered him he glanced down, only to see Kisame's hand headed towards his neck. He clamped his eye shut, thinking that Kisame was now going to strangle him for knocking him over.

Instead, he felt the others hand curl around the back of his neck and tug gently. Tobi's eye snapped open as Kisame pulled him down to lay across his chest, their face's almost touching.

Tobi could feel Kisame's breath wafting over his cheek and shivered. He had a strange feeling in his nether regions, a little uncomfortable, but good. His single eye looked into Kisame's as Kisame gently touched their lips together. Tobi shuddered and pressed closer to the the blue man, moaning. The sound startled him until he realized that he had made it.

Kisame licked at Tobi's lips, asking for entry as his other hand traveled up Tobi's back, slipping under his shirt to feel the wiry muscle beneath. Tobi opened his mouth and felt Kisame's tongue slide in, caressing his own. Kisame moaned this time, when Tobi shifted and accidentally ground against his arousal.Tobi yelped when his tongue got nicked by Kisame's sharp teeth, and pulled back slightly.

"A-ah, I'm sorry Tobi." Kisame said, panting."Here...Stick you're tongue out."

Tobi did so, hesitantly, and Kisame could see blood leaking sluggishly from the tip of his tongue. He looked up at Tobi, seeing moisture gathering in his eye from the stinging cut. "Trust me?" He asked softly.

Tobi blinked and nodded. Kisame smiled and leaned up to suck gently on Tobi's tongue, lapping up the blood.

Tobi moaned loudly and started to kiss Kisame again,carefully maneuvering his tongue around the shark-nins sharp teeth, both of them tasting the slight coppery tang of Tobi's blood. 

This, of course, made Kisame even harder and Tobi ground against him again, making him break the kiss, gasping.

Tobi ripped Kisame's cloak off and pulled at his mesh shirt, wanting to feel his rippling muscles. Kisame helped him get the shirt off and lye back again, letting Tobi explore his, now bare, upper body. Tobi ran his hand across the broad expanse of Kisame's chest, marveling at the hard muscles.He got an evil glint in his eye and ran his hand up Kisame's body to tweak a nipple, making the shark-nin jump a bit in surprise.

Kisame smirked. Two could play this game. He reached down and took a Kunai out of his leg pouch. He grabbed Tobi's shirt and cut it down the middle, baring Tobi's pale skin to him. He set the Kunai aside and reached up to fondle Tobi's nipples, plucking at them firmly.

"Kisameeeee..." Tobi was a bit shocked to hear himself moaning his sempai's name. Wait, HIS sempai?...Yes. Kisame was TOBI'S.

Kisame chuckled and rolled over so Tobi was on the bottom, staring up at him with a heated eye. Lusty but shy.

Kisame moved down until he was kneeling between Tobi's legs. He lightly brushed Tobi's erection with the back of his hand and smirked when Tobi arched up, gasping.

"P-please..." Tobi begged, panting.

"Please what, Tobi?" Kisame all but purred.

"P-please...touch Tobi." Tobi's face turned a darker shade of crimson.

He soon forgot his embarrassment as Kisame touched him again.

"A-ahhhh!" He squirmed in pleasure as Kisame massaged the hard bulge in his pants.

Kisame grinned and thought, _'So he's a vocal one.'_

When Kisame stopped, Tobi opened his mouth to protest, but closed it with a snap when he felt him undoing his pants and pulling them off.

Kisame felt an intense jolt of want when he found out Tobi was going commando.

Kisame leaned down and blew his hot breath over the tip of Tobi's sensitive arousal, pleased when he shuddered. Then he licked the length of him, grinning again as Tobi squirmed, trying to get closer.

"K-Kisame...Don't t-tease Tobi! Please..." He was almost crying from wanting to be touched so bad.

Kisame relented, taking Tobi into his mouth, sucking and licking insistently, bobbing his head up and down in a slow, torturous pace.

"Ahhhhh...Kisame! Tobi was once again getting vocal.

Kisame twirled his tongue around him then drug his teeth lightly down his erection. 

Tobi cried out at the sensation, hips jerking. Kisame's hands were on him though, holding him still as he worked magic with his mouth. Tobi buried his hands in the Shark-nins bluish hair, tugging every time Kisame bobbed his head.

Kisame hummed, causing a jolt of pleasure to shoot up his groin. "Hnnnnn..." 

Kisame then deep throated him and swallowed. Tobi's back arched off the ground, his mouth open as he gasped panted and moaned, yanking on Kisame's hair.

He knew Tobi was close to the end, so he drug his teeth down down his length again, moving down his erection to suck on the tip as his hands released Tobi's hips to take hold of his hardness instead.

"Kisame!" Tobi cried out as he came in Kisame's mouth, hips spasming as he released his death grip on Kisame's hair.

Kisame swallowed and licked him once more, teasingly, making him twitch, before crawling up to straddle Tobi's waist and leaning down to plant a kiss on his parted lips. Tobi could taste himself on the Kisame's tongue as he kissed the shark-nin back. 

Still panting a bit, Tobi let his hand travel down Kisame's body and slipped it inside his pants, wrapping his hand around Kisame's impressive, and painfully neglected,erection. Kisame hissed, almost startling Tobi into releasing him, but Kisame held Tobi's hand to him through his pants, throwing his head back in pleasure as Tobi shyly stroked him. 

Tobi got a little bolder and took a firmer grip, pumping him slow and hard.

Kisame let out a feral growl and bit out, "My pants. Take them off."

Tobi released him and did as he was told. When he got them off, he could not help but stare at what he had so recently fondled. It was HUGE!

Kisame saw Tobi staring and chuckled, making Tobis eye snap back to his face, embarrassed. His face was very red. 

"Tobi..."Kisame murmured." Are you sure?"

Tobi smiled, still blushing."Tobi wants Kisame very much."

Kisame captured his lips in a gentle kiss. "Stand up." He said, standing up and offering Tobi a hand.

Tobi took it and stood. Kisame turned him around so his back was towards him and he was facing the wall.

"Brace you're hands on the wall." Kisame said huskily. 

Tobi put his hands in front of him, against the wall.

Kisame nudged his legs apart, sliding his thigh in between them and wrapping an arm around Tobi's waist.

"Relax, Tobi." He said soothingly. He sucked on his fingers, lathering them with saliva, before placing them just outside Tobi's entrance. "This may feel a little uncomfortable for a moment." Kisame nibbled on his ear, making Tobi shiver.

"Kisame...Tobi doesn't care. Tobi trust's Kisame." Tobi was already hard again, thinking about what Kisame was going to do to him.

Kisame pushed two fingers into Tobi, scissoring them as gently as he could, while Tobi gasped and squirmed a bit. After minute he added a third finger and started thrusting them in and out. 

After a few strokes, the pain started to fade and Tobi moaned a bit, feeling the pleasure now.

Kisame stroked inside him a few more times, then pulled his fingers out and positioned something much larger at Tobi's entrance.

Tobi braced himself as Kisame slowly pushed into him, groaning at the mixture of pain and pleasure. He pushed back against the Shark-nin. Kisame growled, thrusting in to the hilt, but stilled as soon as he was in to let Tobi adjust to his size. He did not know how much longer he could control himself, Tobi was just so hot and tight!

"Kisame...T-Tobi is okay." Tobi moved his hips experimentally and gasped when Kisame reacted, pulling almost all the way out and slamming back in, hissing with pleasure and burying his face in Tobi's ebony locks.

Kisame tried to hold himself back, but Tobi had different plans. He leaned his head back against Kisame's bare chest, exposing his throat, and wiggled his hips, a small grin on his face.

Kisame's control snapped and he started pumping violently into Tobi, a continuous growl rumbling in his chest. 

Kisame snaked his free hand around to Tobi's front, wrapping it around his hard length, stroking in sync with his thrusts.

Tobi moaned, arching his back. "Kisameee..."

Kisame, still growling, bent forward and latched his mouth onto Tobi's shoulder, causing said man to shiver and reach back to twine his fingers once again into Kisame's hair. 

Tobi was letting out a steady stream of moans now and starting to tense up. Kisame knew that he was close to cumming and refused to cum before Tobi, so he tightened his grip on Tobi, stroking him quick and hard.

Almost at once Tobi stiffened, crying out and cumming in Kisame's hand. Kisame felt Tobi's already tight entrance contract around him and it sent him over the edge. He came with a shoulder muffled growl, both arms now wrapped snugly around the smaller ninja.

Tobi's legs were too wobbly for him to stand on his own, so he leaned back against Kisame until his strength returned to him.

Kisame tilted Tobi's head back to give him an upside down kiss. After a moment Tobi pulled back, giggling. "Semp-Kisame, can Tobi be a bad boy more often?"

Kisame grinned."Only for me."

Tobi turned around in Kisame's arms and reached up, licking him across his cheek. Tobi laughed at the expression on Kisame's face, but the laughter was cut short when Kisame licked him back. Now Kisame was the one Laughing and Tobi was staring at him.

* * *

As they cuddled in the hallway, they had both failed to notice Kakuzu, who had recorded their whole...'Encounter'..And was now going to sell the Akatsuki fluff to the highest bidding fan-girl on nin-bay.

* * *

About a week later, Tobi was surfing the Internet, sitting on Kisame's lap, and found a video labeled 'Akatsuki fluff: Kisame X Tobi'. 

"Hey, Kisame, Look what Tobi found!" Kisame peered over Tobi's shoulder as he clicked on the video and his jaw dropped as he saw Tobi and himself doing it on the floor. You could hear Tobi moaning loudly.

The Tobi sitting in his lap was turning a bright red and Kisame was feeling a bit warm himself.

"D-did Tobi...really make that..noise?" Tobi asked, embarrassed.

"Yep," Said Kisame, hugging him close."It was damn cute too."

Needless to say, when they found out Kakuzu was the culprit, he got his punishment in double. Kisame ended up sucking out almost all of his chakra with his sword, Samehada, leaving him quite unable to move. So they stripped him, then put him in Hidan's room, leaving the nude stitch man to the psycho jashin priest's evil plans. For the next few hours, all that could be heard in the Akatsuki base were the tormented screams of Kakuzu.

END

* * *

O.o Wow...That was interesting to type...Lol. Anyways, hope y'all enjoyed it. And, Sylvan wind of change, I hope you enjoyed Itachi painting his nails!

Kuro: -Drinking hot chocolate-

Iatchi:...I'm going to kill you.

Kuro: Gack! -regurgitates hot cocoa on Itachi- Ehehe...uh..RUN!

Itachi: Grrr! Come back here!

Kuro: Sylvannnnn! Save me! There is a chocolate covered Itachi trying to kill me!

Itachi: -Laughing insanely- No one will save you now!

Kuro: X3 dat-da-da-da! from reading Sylvans Tongue-fu story, I know Tongue-fu! And I taught it to Deidara! So...do I have to call Deidara and have him Tongue-fu you?

Itachi: ...-runs away screaming-

Kuro: Ha! I scared Itachi!

Itachi: -Peeking around corners with Sharringan activated to make sure Deidara does not sneak up on him-

Deidara: -Taps Itachi on the shoulder-

Itachi: He...He's right behind me..isn't he?

Kuro: -nods- Hehehe, hey Deidara.

Deidara: -Glomps Itachi- Hiya Kuro! Un! Thanks for adding me in you're story, un.

Kuro: No problem Diedara. You should do something about you're hands slobbering on Kisame though...

Itachi: Please...just kill me now...


End file.
